I am generally pleased with my body. I am strong, flexible, and my clothes fit the way I want them to unless I eat processed food and suffer bloating and digestive upset. I haven't weighed myself in maybe three months because I don't own a scale, and I don't really care what the number is. I saw a scale in a friends bathroom today and stepped on.
I know that i fluctuate five pounds, but stepping on and seeing a number (that may or may not be accurate), reflecting the top of my fluctuation made me feel anxious.
I suddenly started to question my current perception of my body.
Should I be content where I am when I thought I would be at the lower end of my fluctuation?
What if this scale is incorrect.
Maybe it's my clothes' fault. No, my clothes are lightweight; a pound, tops.
I did eat processed food yesterday, maybe I'm just bloated.
I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "you were happy with this image before stepped on the scale, you look the exact same now. It's just a number."
It's just a number. This is why I don't own a scale. The truth is that I've never been slave to the number, though I have gone for extended periods of time with routine weigh ins. I've always loved bodies, and find amusement in watching the daily and monthly fluctuation.
I decided that owning a scale wasn't necessary when I realized that my body looks and feels the way I want it to when I eat to nourish. Watching a number, at some point became a distraction from how I was feeling. If I feel good, I look good, no matter the number.
If a number has me pressured to make good choices, I'm apt to over think, stress, and ultimately rebel. I don't like rules. I don't like being told what to do. I don't like making authority figures out of anything beneath me. (get it?) ;)
I have taught my body how to love and crave nutrient dense foods. When I am eating intuitively, my body finds a comfortable and rooted balance.
Sometimes I eat food for the pure sake of letting my taste buds dance. I accept the consequences in full faith that my body will crave what it needs to heal and rebalance. Numbers don't belong in my system.
What my body knows
That my milk jugs have been about half a size bigger for the last six months.
That I've been practicing yoga regularly and feel stronger and sturdier than I've felt at many of my lighter weigh ins.
That my clothes are fitting great!
When I have digestive problems: bloating, pain, gas, loose stool, constipation, heart burn, etc...
When I have inflammation: skin inflamaion: acne, itching, blisters, rash, hives, body pain, joint pain, headaches, fever,
When my energy level soars and dives.
When my attitude changes: increased emotional response, apathy, sadness, anxiety, nervousness, etc..
My body knows when I feel balanced, content, and good overall. The scale knows what I weigh, and if it's super fancy it knows my bodyfat percentage...
The scale doesn't know my cup size, and it doesn't know about your Kim K assets either!
What do you think? What's your relationship with the scale?