About 100 yards into my half mile walk to the restaurant, the sole of my right high heel came completely unglued. With every step it would flap like a proud, dying eagle and fold under my heel awkwardly. I was forced to slow my pace and high knee kick my right leg the rest of the walk. Actually it was a really special gait. Left foot normal, right foot high knee kick, ball of the foot to the ground, then heel. Left foot step, right leg high knee kick, toe, heel.
Basically the system reads about as easy as it was to do. This is why I was late to my first date with Daniel. (Click here to read about how we met.)
I was actually having fun with it until I opened the restaurant door - made eye contact with him, and realized I had to own that walk all the way to the table. He stood up to greet me with a kiss on the cheek. They do that here, Hawaii is just like Europe. I immediately told him about my adventure from the car. I guess I thought if I didn’t say anything he would assume I always walked like that.
As I sat down, he leaned in for what I felt was going to be an important question. His expression became playful as he challenged, “How do you feel about a pitcher of sangria?” I laughed, Infinitely thankful that he didn't just break the news to me that I’d had my skirt tucked into my gigantic granny panties that whole march from the car. I committed to the share, but the server accidentally brought out a pitcher of mojito. We had a little eye contact conversation before agreeing aloud that a mojito was definitely the better choice.
He didn’t waste another second before admitting that he did Google me. “That’s a big red flag, by the way. Telling someone to Google you.”
I blushed and giggled, “I know, I know… but I feel like men should know what they’re getting themselves into when they sign up to eat with me.”
He met my gaze reassuringly, “I like what I found. You have a strong online presence. You’re a good writer, and I want to help you build your own website.”
That was the first time anyone outside of my (obligated) friends and family, encouraged me to write. For me, that was a defining moment.
We spent the rest of the evening learning about each other through easy banter. I was interested. I could tell there was a lot to know about him. At one point I recapped part of his story in an effort to dig a little deeper. I asked, “So you’re a techie, you make children’s apps, you teach music lessons, and you love to read... What else do you do?”
He told me several months later that that question was incredibly intimidating. I hadn’t meant it to be. I just assumed he had plenty more hobbies and interests. He did, so I’m not sure what all the fuss was about.
What makes one first date better than the next? Some first dates are excruciatingly boring, while others seem to fly by as I find myself captivated by another human being. Of course there has to be physical attraction, but there’s more -- something less tangible at play.
Energetic exchange? Chemistry? I subscribe to the Celestine Prophecy theory that when you feel an absolute draw to another person, you should succumb to the magnetism. The idea is that you likely have truths to share with each other -- in words, actions, or even energy.
We shared our surface truths in a fun and friendly way. We talked about books, shows, religion, our childhoods, our hobbies, our passions. I don't fully remember what all we learned about each other that night, but I remember laughing easily, and loving it when we held eye contact a little too long.
After dinner he walked me back to my car, invited me to see his band play the following week, and promised a phone call as he kissed my cheek goodbye. I didn’t feel crazy fireworks that night. I just felt a gentle energetic pull. I wanted to spend more time enjoying his face, his eyes, and his mind.
Spoiler alert: We dated a few months and then kept an almost two year friendship. During which I learned a great deal about myself. I look forward to sharing how our unhealthy "friendship" made me a stronger, more powerful woman than ever.
Tell me about one of your positive first dates. Can you put your finger on what exactly made it a good one? Were you eager to see them again soon? Or, were you more comfortable about whatever pace would sprout naturally?
Looking forward to hearing your stories! Thanks for reading, make fun choices! :)
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