I was 24 and had never
had a boyfriend when
I decided to try online dating.
I've always been pretty enough, and relatively sweet, but was never the girl that guys chased. When I was a teen, I figured that things would change when I escaped the small town I grew up in. I had high standards (so I thought). I was waiting for the perfect Christian man.
I immersed myself in a huge church with plenty of college-agers. In the five years I attended, only one man asked me out. We had a few fun dates before the unthinkable occurred: We walked into a book store so I could show him a health reference book regarding a question he'd asked me. I found the section, and handed the book over. He handed it back and asked me to read to him. I did, but the section was lengthy and I was tired of reading aloud, so I passed the book back to him. That's when he told me that he doesn't read. I was dumbfounded. I suddenly got really hot, almost feverish, and felt claustrophobic next to him, as he explained that he's never read a book cover to cover.
I realized that this wasn't a cute love story. It was a story about a boy who was too dumb to know that this girl was way too wild for him.
(I'm posting in total confidence that non-readers are not reading this, and therefore are not completely insulted.)
I had spent my whole life believing that I should be a certain kind of girl, meet, and fall in love with a certain kind of man. I began to see that I was never that kind of girl, and that those kinds of men found me to be "too much."
I have an untamed spirit. I believe I belong wherever I am. I ask questions. I am always learning. I am passionate, determined, and unamused by status quo.
I decided not to turn down men based on shallow judgements anymore. I always complained that guys wouldn't ask me out, actually this is something that many women complain about. I decided that I would encourage men to be brave.
A first date is no biggie, so why treat it like one? I made up my mind to accept a first date from any guy (within reason) who had the cojones to ask me out. I also joined a few online dating sites. My attitude changed from: "a man has to be A, B, C, and D, to get my attention," to, "I'm going to learn about men."
I have hundreds of thousands of great dating stories ranging from dangerous, to dead boring, to adventurous, to exciting, and even to romantic. In my next few posts I'll tell you why online dating was one of the best choices I've made to date, and why after five years, I've officially thrown in my cyber-cupid towel.
Dating with an open mind has made me kinder, more confident, and way more interesting. :)