Daniel - The Dating Phase

"What you're missing is that the path itself changes you." ~Julien Smith

"What you're missing is that the path itself changes you." ~Julien Smith

I last shared with you about my first date with Daniel. In the next few posts I’ll open up a little more on the juicy bits that make up this crazy thing called modern dating.

Why am I sharing this story? I was recently asked why I don't share more positive dating stories. My initial response was that they aren't as entertaining and laughable as the disastrous ones. After some thought, I decided to share this story because this is a person I really fell for. Real life doesn't have a soundtrack or fancy camera angles. Special moments are, simply that. When our honeymoon phase came to an abrupt halt, we mutually chose to continue a friendship and work relationship. That's when I learned a few of my favorite life lessons. Soon to come... :) For now, here's a bit more on the early dating stage:

I rallied my girl friends to see Daniel’s band play the week after our first date. We all had great fun dancing, and I was impressed by his strong stage presence. His love for performing really brought him to life. It's incredibly attractive to see someone in their impassioned element.

For our second date we enjoyed wine and snacks on the beach. Conversation went a little deeper as the sun went down, and we took turns listening to each other share stories of childhood and coming of age. We talked about our relationships with our parents, and how our parents personal choices have impacted us even into adulthood.

We’d both had hyper religious upbringings and victimized mothers with hoarding problems. He was embarrassed and said he'd never shared his mom's addiction with anyone before. We enjoyed similar books on psychology, spirituality, and self growth. In fact we both admitted to having a quiet long term goal of writing a book someday. We found that we'd listened to many of the same Tedtalks, and we both loved Frasier.

Our differences were obvious; him being logical and technical, while I'm intuitive and emotionally based. He's drawn to indoor work and loud party scenes; while I'm drawn to body work and the quiet splendor of the great outdoors.

Despite our differences, I felt that we communicated easily on the same plane and at the same speed. To me, that's more important than common details.

The sun was long gone by the time the sand zamboni clicked its spotlight on and began rolling out the sand. There is something very impersonal about zambonis — Like I don’t fully believe that a human drives them. I feel a distinct lack compassion, as thought its primary intention is to leave me pancaked in the sand for the morning sunbathers. Slightly panicked, Daniel and I gathered our things and escaped to the car!

“I want to keep hanging out with you tonight,” he said.

Following our progressive conversation, his confident declaration made me feel special, desired, and powerful. He suggested a place in town for a drink. It was easy to stay in the moment with him. He energized me.

A few dates later, he invited me to see a Beatles cover band show. As you would imagine, the second best thing to seeing The Beatles play, is pretending that you’re seeing The Beatles play.

He was embarrassed to admit he’d bought nosebleed tickets, but I think sneaking into a better section together was like turning the chem-lab hot plate to the highest setting.

The tension between us was so palpable we were probably a distraction to the band.

I leaned back in my seat and crossed my leg over his as they began to play Girl, and I told him when I’m feeling not-so-confident about a guy I listen to this song and remember my power.

He chuckled and maybe blushed a little, and told me that I am indeed, very powerful.

Stay tuned, things are about to get a little more interesting!

Thanks for reading, make fun choices! :)